Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
by Sulphuric Wolf
Summary: A grinchesque Giratina hates Christmas, but will Darkrai be able to make it more fun for her? Loads of humor and real life references. Also bits of my beliefs about Christmas and how commercialized it's become.GrudgeShipping - Darkrai x Giratina SWEARING!


I've decided to try out something different this time. A new ship, and humour. This goes out to anyone whose spending this Christmas alone, and to those who have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Well, it's not Mew's birthday IRL, of course. I just used that as symbolism.

* * *

Everything was in place.

The stupid tree sat in the corner of the hall of legends. Apparently Celebi had brought it from Ilex forest. It had dumb shiny things hanging from the branches, for what reason I didn't know. I never really understood the point of that.

A huge table had been set up in the middle of the hall, with a tacky tablecloth covered in pictures of Christmassy things. Silver plates were set up neatly with shining cutlery next to them. In the middle of the table were vases of holly, with blood red berries inset.

And that wasn't the worst of it. Latias had strung tinsel from the roof, and a banner that said Merry Christmas in letters so bright, I felt as if I needed a cataract operation after seeing it. Mew, the only way this could be worse was if we had an annoying dancing Santa like you see at department stores.

"Hey, Giratina, look what I got!"

To my horror, Regigigas entered the room, holding one of the dancing Santas that I just mentioned. My heart sank. It was taller than Mewtwo, with a creepily happy face and its mouth ajar, as if ready to burst into song. Regigigas set it down, and I swear if he had a face, he would be beaming.

Great, I jinxed myself.

"Cute, huh?" he said cheerily, and pressed the button carefully with one of his huge fingers. The Santa began to dance, metallic whirling noises hurting my ears, and sprouting "Jingle bells" in awful sound quality. I groaned inwardly.

"No, Regi, it's not cute. It's bloody annoying." I put my first set of legs over my ears, trying to block out the annoying noises.

The golem playfully hit me with a gentle Superpower. "Awwww, Gira, you're such a party pooper." He looked at the Santa, who was now midway into a version of "Oh Christmas Tree" that actually sounded like a Linoone with severe indigestion. "I think it's cool."

I sighed at his spirit. "Well, you go on thinking that. I think I'll go home. All this Christmas spirit tauroscrap is getting to me."

Regigigas gave an arching wave. "Seeya!"

---

Ah, back to the comforts of my own home. There really isn't anything like visiting Turnback Cave to get you out of the Christmas spirit. You've really gotta love the mist-filled cave, where any sound you make is magnified in the deafening silence.

My main cave was decorated with a single, black tree. No decorations, obviously. I guess you could say it was my little joke. Plus, Mew would get offended if she came and saw that I wasn't celebrating her birthday.

I like Mew. She's a happy, lively critter. I was more than happy to celebrate her birthday. But all this commercialism that the humans have dished up is totally unnecessary. When I turn on the T.V., all I see is adverts where clean, happy families have Christmas lunch together in a shiny, spotless house. Happy children and a golden retriever are also often involved.

Well, what if you don't have a family? Or what if you don't have a house like that because you can't afford one? What if you don't have kids or a dog?

What if you're out on your own?

I'm not, of course. I have Palkia and Dialga. But I know a lot of humans are. Why do companies put these things in their ads make it more painful for them?

I'll never understand humans, I swear.

Alone in my cave, though, I never have to deal with those greedy little things. I'll be damned if one solves the maze and challenges me. I'll be damned again if one manages to catch me.

I yawn loudly, curl up on the floor and allow the night to take me.

---

Ugh. One day closer to that Arceus forsaken day.

Things are starting to get a lot worse. Groudon wore a Santa hat to the meeting, a _Santa hat _for crying out loud. Some people have no taste, and Groudon's one of them. He's like the annoying but well meaning uncle that shows up to your family gatherings in a Hawaiian t-shirt with a dish of his famous and "yummy" Lava Cookies. Not to mention getting drunk and singing awful karaoke.

Sadly, Groudon did that last New Year's. I nearly vomited, but I didn't think anyone would ever want to see those lava cookies again.

He really couldn't use the encouragement from Kyogre.

Latias and Mew are almost unbearable. Today they whizzed about the room, singing "Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!" I still have it ringing in my ears, and to be honest, I'd prefer one of Raikou's songs, like the one about his eyelid named Patrick.

And Mesprit had the nerve to ask me what I wanted. I mean, he was trying to be nice, so I smiled and, politely as I could, replied "Nothing." I was actually smouldering inside. I said goodbye to Mesprit, who was looking quite perplexed.

But then I noticed something odd. Darkrai stood in the corner of the room with Cresselia and Heatran, but he wasn't talking to either of them. He was looking at me with a large, teal eye. He looked kinda annoyed, too. Like this Christmas crap was getting on his nerves. In fact, Heatran and Cresselia looked kind of the same, too. Usually Heatran would spend her time with Regigigas, but she wasn't. Maybe his attitude towards the whole thing shitted her off too.

They looked so unhappy with the whole ordeal, I went to join them.

Cresselia looked up and smiled. "Hey, Gira!" She was always nice to me, but a bit girly for my liking. "Getting into the Christmas spirit, I see?" She added sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Oh, yeah, totally. You can so tell, can't you?" At that point I realised that Darkrai was still watching me. I looked at him and smiled. I'm sure if his mouth was visible, he'd have smiled too. As the only "dark" legend besides me, Me and ol' Dark had a connection. I mean, we didn't talk much, but I always had sort of a connection. It was like the word, with all it's bright, happy colours dancing before us, and we were standing back to watch it as two dark souls.

He had sort of a confused, intrigued expression on his face as he watched me with that huge teal orb. Like he was trying to sort something out upstairs. I know what Dialga would say. "Few grains of sand stuck in his hourglass." My navy quadruped of a Time Lord counterpart though he was being funny by referring to his element as much as possible.

"Hey, Giratina. Me and Palkia are going to the Unown Realm. Apparently the alphabet soup is having problems with a rip in the space-time continuum. We'd sure use your help fishing the little guys out." Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. My aforementioned blue quadruped friend was waiting by the door for me to come out. "Unown don't take kindly to the underworld." He encouraged.

I sighed. I was enjoying being looked at for a change. Usually most people averted their gaze like I'm some sort of hellish basilisk. Funny about that really. But those little letters needed my help. I said goodbye to my little group of grinches and left.

As I plucked the squealing psychic letters from the howling terror of the Underworld, I could not get the image of Darkrai's confused face out of my head.

---

I woke up a week or so after that happened, Christmas eve, thinking of him.

I didn't get it. Why was thinking of this particular legend? There were loads of other perfectly thinkable legends that could occupy my brain space. My mind had been getting more and more fixed on him over the week. It drove me nuts.

But no matter what I did, Darkrai had plotted himself inside my brain. I couldn't stop thinking about his ebony skin, or the way his milk-coloured hair flowed.

My conscience, the aloof, distant Giratina, didn't like this. _Ugh, don't become like all of them, please. _She moaned.

_Hey, what's wrong with Darkrai? He's heaps like me and stuff. It's natural that I feel drawn to him._

_Point taken. But still, you're the guardian of the underworld. You don't do shit like this._

_What the hell are you on about? Shit like what?_

_Don't play dumb with me. Fall in love._

_Awwww, conscience, don't be ridiculous. I'm not…_

But then I realised that little voice was right. Over the week, I had fallen in love. One stinking week. My heart was supposed to be cold and black, not able to love another.

But no matter what, I could not get the image of him and me besides the Christmas Tree out of my head. He was holding my shoulders, and looking at me with that look that he'd watched me with.

I realised it was the look of passion.

---

Ugh. Today's the day. Merry Christmas, I couldn't care less. I flew over some humans on the way to the Christmas dinner, and they looked revoltingly happy.

The hall was decked out even more since I had been there thismorning. Holly, wreaths, the works. You could see the reason to the song: "Deck the halls".

I realised I was standing in the middle of the Hall, when Darkrai came up behind me. His arms were folded, and his face was a sneer. "Revolting, isn't it?" he asked huskily. My heart gave a little flip.

"Yeah." I managed to agree. "Glad it's gonna be over after today." I stepped around the table, heading towards the seat that awaited me. I could hardly walk, I was so thrilled that he was speaking to me.

"Uh, wait." Came a voice from behind.

My heart leaping, I spun around to meet his gaze. He had that same look on his face as before, passionate. His long, ebony limbs were behind his back.

"Giratina…" He began, hoarse voice no more than a whisper. "I know you hate Christmas and you don't want any presents, but I'm positive you'll like this one. Merry Christmas." From behind him he pulled a small box, wrapped in black wrapping paper and a red ribbon.

Oh shit. This was just brilliant. I didn't want a present from anyone, let alone him. Now I'm gonna feel hell guilty.

"Uhhh, thanks," I replied, taking the present from him. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I unwrapped it.

"Oh, Dark… You really shouldn't have!"

It was a painting, one he'd done himself. It surprised most people that Darkrai was an artist, but he was really good. He'd drawn us both watching a whirl of bright colours fly by. It was like how I pictured us before: two dark sentries watching the joy and colour of the world fly by.

I looked up at him. He seemed odd and nervous, but his eyes were still loving. "Yeah, well…. I guess I wanted to make this a happy time for you, not something to be endured."

I smiled at him, pouring my heart into this simple gesture. "Come with me," I whispered, and dragged him over by the Christmas tree.

"What are you doing?" He asked, perplexed.

I did not lose the smile. "There seems to be a certain part of the decoration I missed before. Look up."

Darkrai obliged, and I saw his eyes light up when his gaze landed on the piece of mistletoe.

* * *

Yeah, yeah. I know. Mistletoe. How generic. Anyways hope this made you all feel a bit chrismassy, even though the ending was so weak!


End file.
